


FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

by tomatogerard



Category: Blink-182, Doctor Who (2005), Fall Out Boy, Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Bands, Crack, Its 3 am, M/M, doctor who - Freeform, patrick is a unicorn, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 12:51:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2229654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatogerard/pseuds/tomatogerard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i wrote this crack at 3 am and i was on my period idek</p>
            </blockquote>





	FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

**Author's Note:**

> there's lots of grammar, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. don't kill me because of that. and this is the first fic that i actually posted on AO3. so it probably looks confusing without spaces between the quotes but i try. ;_;

gerard and frank were doing the gay buttsex.

they did the buttsex every day and it was wonderful.

the emo lord, pete wentz, did not approve. him and his boyfriend mikey would ride all the emo unicorns through afro land, where the mighty afro god ruled. his name was ray and he was a bootiful ray of sunshine. but he murders annoying people with his afro.

~

"omg frank the buttsex was hot lets do it again!"  
"yaaaaas gerard ur butthole feels so good i want it forever."

"shut your fucking mouth or i will shove pete's bass up your ass" mikey said.

"whAT DID U SAY MY SEXY EMO BOYFRIEND" pete flies in while riding patrick the unicorn.

patrick is pete's magical unicorn. he can play the guitar and that's why he's a special unicorn.

"PEEETE MY GAY BROTHER WONT STOP DOING THE BUTTSEX WITH A PUNK MIDGET."

"don't worry mikey i will ask ray the afro god how to stop the buttsex."

"off we goooooo!" mikey and pete get on top of patrick and the ride off into the sunset.

~

"WHAT DO YOU WANT PETER" screams the mighty toro."  
"gerard and frank wont stop doing gay buttsex and we must stop it" pete says  
"i will consult the magic cupcacke" ray shoves his hand in a cupcake and says "OH MIGHTY CUPCAKE HOW DO WE SOLVE THIS PROBLEM"  
The cupcake replies in a deep voice "in the faraway land called buttmilk, there is a gay witch couple. they are ryan ross and brendon urie. they can cast a magical spell on gerard and frank which will stop them from being homo. the spell is called 'FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!'" "thank you mighty cupcake." ray said. "but where will we find ryan and brendon?", mikey asked. ray produced a huge map from his afro and said, "you must follow the boulevard of broken dreams, and at the end you will meet the punk rock princesses, who will tell you what to do. if you follow their orders, they will teleport you to buttmilk. if you dont, they will feed you to justin bieber." mikey and pete gasped. "oh my! we must follow their orders!" then, they both set off into the distance, on the boulevard of broken dreams. finally, after 3 hours, they reached the end of the road, where they found two tall men standing in front of them. "are you the punk rock princess?" pete asked. "no, we're their bodyguards." said one of them. "don't listen to mark, he fucks dogs." "well don't listen to tom either because he believes in aliens. fuckin' nerd." said mark before he hit tom's balls." "FUCK YOU MARK" screamed tom before he hid in the trees. "sorry about that. so, why do you want to see the punk princesses?" "well we need to get to buttmilk." "seems legit. nice unicorn.", mark said before he let pete and mikey pass. about half a mile ahead, they saw three men. one of them was short and had fluffy black hair. he was strumming a little ukelele while a slightly taller man was lying in the grass next to him, sleeping. the third one was walking in circles and humming when he noticed pete and mikey. "billie, mike, wake up! we got company!" "shut the fuck up, jason, i was sleeping." mike grumbled as he got up. "i assume you are here to get to buttmilk." said billie. "yes, we are." mikey replied. "well we got a job for you." said mike. "get tre out of that tree, and you can pass." pete, mikey, and patrick (the unicorn) looked ahead and saw a slightly chubbier man sitting on a tree branch, sucking on a drumstick while snorting donut sprinkles. "he really let himself go after the accident." said jason. "what accident?" pete asked. "it's a long story. basically, don't fuck around with unicycles." mikey suddenly got an idea. "we should lure tre out of the tree with patrick!" "no mikey! i don't want patrick to get hurt!" "well do you really want to hear gerard and frank fucking every night?" pete sighed. "fine." a few minutes later, tre was staring at patrick. "OMGOMGOMG A REAL UNICORN!" patrick nodded. "YOURE SO FLUFFFFFFFYYYYYY!!!!!!" tre screamed as he pounced on patrick. but, patrick was smart, and he outran tre. mikey and pete climbed on patrick as he galloped into the horizon. "thank you my emo friends!" "you're welcome, punk princess!" ~ an hour later, they were in the witches' house. watching them have gay buttsex. patrick was scared and hiding under a table. "really sorry about that. ryan really loves my ass." "it is a nice ass" ryan said. pete and mikey nodded in agreement. brendon really did have a nice ass. "so you told us you were here for the 'fuck her right in the pussy spell'?" "yes we are." "well it's really quite simple. ryan, give me the milk." brendon took the milk from ryan and placed a gallon jug in pete and mikey's hands. brendon walked away, and let ryan explain the rest. "so it's very simple. here's what you need to do. get frank and gerard in the same room. dump a gallon of milk on each of their heads while yelling 'FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!" "that's it?" mikey asked. "ohhhhh nooooo honey. there's a catch. you and pete have to suck each other's dick while doing the spell." pete and mikey stared at each other for a long time. finally pete said, "if frerard started with a blowjob, it will end with a blowjob." they rode patrick into the night sky, all the way back to afro land. it was easy to find frank and gerard in the same room. after all, they were cuddling on the same couch. pete wentz up to them (hehe see what i did there) and said, "mikey and i are gonna do weird things right now but you have to stay here no matter what." they agreed to do that, but they were not prepared for what came next. a few minutes later, pete and mikey walked in the room, making out, naked. pete wrapped his legs around mikey's neck, and hung upside down with mikey's cock in his mouth. (pete was secretly a gymnast). then, mikey got pete's cock in his mouth and they were both sucking each other off. frank and gerard could only watch, while being very surprised and slighty turned on. suddenly, mikey grabbed the milk, and poured it on frank and gerard's heads. he screamed "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!" while pete's cock was still in his mouth. this made pete come, and a few seconds later, mikey did too. "that was fun." said pete as he kissed mikey and walked out of the room. he wondered why frank and gerard hadn't said anything. then, mikey turned to the couch and saw both of them passed out. he shook gerard awake and gerard said, "why am i covered in milk? why am i sitting in frank's lap? and why do i have a thirst for vagina?" he mumbled while walking out of the room. a few minutes later, frank woke up. "why the fuck am i covered in milk? why are you naked, mikey? and why do i want to shove my face in boobs?" mikey laughed happily. the spell worked. the next morning, pete and mikey woke up to an odd sound in the bedroom. there was a blue police telephone box sitting in the corner, and a tall british man in a trenchcoat said, "no time to explain. where is the man with the afro? i need to see him now." mikey ran out of the room without question, and brought ray back with him. ray saw the doctor, and said, "doctor! where have you been? i haven't seen you in 452 years!" ray turned to pete and said "you would have found out sooner or later. i'm a time lord, and i am leaving afro land. you're in charge now." ray threw his crown at pete, ran into the tardis, and said, "GOODBYE MY EMO FRIENDS." "did that blue box just... disappear?" mikey asked "i don't even know. i guess i'm ruling the land now. so i'd better rename it emo land." pete got down one knee and said, "mikey way, i love you. will you be my emo queen?" "yes, pete. i love you too and now we can rule emo land together!" they hugged each other and everyone was happy. except for tom delonge. because everyone thought he was gay.

**Author's Note:**

> im so weird heLP


End file.
